Its Friday so can I keep
it real …really real.
Who has ever been friend zoned here?
Raises my hands grudgingly and looks away in shame, listen
we have all been there, before I go on “what is a friend zone?” you may ask.
Well in simple terms it’s when you are crushing on someone
and want something serious with the person but you are relegated to being “just
friends”.
From the point of view of someone who has been Friend Zoned
and who has placed a lot of people in the Friend Zone, either way it’s a very
uncomfortable Dynamics in a relationship.
I’ve always preferred people who were much older than me,
maybe it’s the fact that my mental capacity was a zillion years older than I was
at that age, but way back in my early twenties (or younger but let’s stick to
early twenties my family reads this blog) that was my preference, I was not
interested in dating my peers who in my opinion at that time could not hold my interest,
I preferred much older and more accomplished individuals, there lies the problem.
Thinking back I can imagine what it seemed like. here I was
this overzealous young kid , twenty one looking seventeen female, chasing after
overly ambitious men who were dating equally intelligent, beautiful young
ladies whose last names had streets named after them, I was pretty enough to be
associated with, intelligent enough to have conversations with, not dumb enough
to be confused into their beds but not accomplished enough to earn the girlfriend
title (hey this trip down memory lane is getting me upset) so alas I was friend
zoned a lot.
Let me tell you it is a sick, twisted unending pain in your
belly when a guy you really like is asking you for opinions on what to buy for
his girlfriend on Valentine's day, or how you will always be appreciated as one of the guys, you
plaster a fake smile on your lips but you just want to curl up like a ball and disappear.
It’s like having the wind sucked out of you from a ruthless physical blow to
your tummy.
Whilst we are on the topic let’s all take a moment to show
some empathy with all the people we have placed in the Friend Zone over the
years, don’t blame us we were busy chasing after happily ever afters that we
failed to appreciate you , it’s just how the world works it’s not always fair
to all.
So now that with this TMI of my life, we all should
understand what a Friend Zone is.
The pertinent question is how do we get out of it?
1
1) Accept defeat :
Everyone knows you win some and you lose
some battles, some people will never see you as more than just a platonic
figure in your lives. Stalking them all over social media and writing poetry to
them on your Laptop will never change their feelings towards you. You should
accept your position as the “good friend” and campaign for being godmother or
godfather to their kids, you’ve already lost.
22)Walk Away:
Sometimes the recipient of the attention
knows how you feel about them but they are comfortable with taking advantage of
your feelings and getting favors out of you without taking your feelings into
consideration, they literally are just using you. Look yourself in the mirror, re
affirm that you are no one’s fool and walk away. Two things may happen the
recipient may miss you enough to decide that they want to take it a step
further with you or they may decide good riddance.
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3)Have the conversation:
Stop expecting everyone to be a mind
reader, sometimes the recipient might truly have no idea of how you truly feel
about them. How are they supposed to know that you showing up every day to
drive them to work is not out of the goodness of your heart, but because you
actually are crazy about them .After all some people are actually that nice. So
stop shying away from the truth and let them know how you truly feel. The worst
that could happen is that they may not reciprocate your feelings and you may
lose that friendship but hey at least you will stop crying yourself to sleep every
night.
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4)Change your strategy:
You know that phrase “Distance makes the
heart grow fonder” sometimes it really works…no joke. Stop being their lap dog.
Some women will never take you seriously if
you don’t man up and put them in their place for instance stop helping them out
with their assignments in school you are not their “School Mugu” and for the ladies,
stop preparing food and ferrying it in a food flask to their houses only for it
to be shared with “the girlfriend of the day”. Change your strategy and stop
the pampering to get them to reciprocate your affection. The heart wants what
it wants maybe if you maintain a respectful distance and they stop leeching of
you they will appreciate you for who you are.
55)Play the Jealous Card:
Ok wait this is an extremely petty and
childish card but desperate needs calls for desperate actions. What if you transferred
your attentions elsewhere, what if you took yourself in all your "overly nice
glory" and started showing affection elsewhere. Let me tell you human beings are
possessive, romantic feelings or not nobody wants to share their close buddy
with someone else especially when they begin to miss those benefits. They might
become jealous and realize that you may truly be a catch that they have always
under estimated or they may be happy they are free of you.
The Gospel truth is that there are no legit rules to relationships,
sometimes what you truly feel for someone may be nothing more than a fleeting
crush that will die out as quickly as it started out.
This article is supposed to be comically entertaining but
the root message I want to pass across is that you should not put yourself in a
situation where you feel cheated, neglected and underappreciated. No matter how
strong your feelings appear to be for someone nobody ever died from a broken
heart.
First hand I can tell you it’s very difficult to walk away
from a situation where you have strong feelings for someone but you deserve to
be in a relationship where the Love and Respect is mutual.
So have you been Friend Zoned before? How did it make you
feel and how did you get away from it…
.Tidbit “Sometimes you never do, some
best friends have started off from crushes”
As for Dakky I don’t have any godkids , that should tell you
how I get out of mine Ciao…….
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