My hands are raised in defence, before you guys come at me i am not a relationship expert, I am not in a perfect relationship infact i have no basis in writting about this topic except for the fact that i love to give my 2 cents on anything and everything, but still you will all agree that we have unspoken rules of dating, nope not those 7 rules of dating or what not to do on a first date or all that crap...
FYI all those rules just sell the author's books, human relationships are not a perfect science what will be will be.
gradually though as you get older you realize that there are rules in this dating business, and this rules differ between men and women,teens and adults, people with questionable characters to good responsible people you know the list goes on and on. Dont shake your head each group of friends has those rules, it might be we dont date each others sisters or brothers or we never take our girlfriends with us during the guys night out or vice versa but some rules have become quite intriguing to me.
A couple of years back, a bloke who i had been dating at some point told me how this liberian room mate of mine used to go behind my back to ask him out, i actually didn't care that was last year's news as far as i was concerned, i left his sorry ass cos he couldn't keep his hands off women, so if a chick who i did not consider close to me decided to pick up my left overs it was good riddance. well i dont think my reaction was quite what the dude was expecting so fast forward a couple of years later he meets me and my very close friend and decides to go behind my back to ask her out....now that i did not like.
I mean what was the problem, i probably would never date the pathetic womanizer again but i had a problem with my close friend picking up my left overs, that was like a massive No in my dictionary, i think that was when i understood that everybody had rules the problem was just defining them and knowing when not to cross them.
The first thing i noticed is that nobody likes to feel dumped and worse off nobody likes to feel dumped for someone else, so it will be a huge error to breakup with someone for their bestfriend, that is just so wrong in every sense of the word, people have killed each other for that act, no matter how tempting it is try to get out of that love triangle situation.
The second thing i have noticed, people dont like their dates side eyeing their siblings, look you should have made up your mind who you fancied in the family before making a move, dating someone and gushing over their elder or younger sister is not a good look.(thank goodness i dont have a sister) but that act can cause deep family rifts.
The third thing is people dont want to listen to your Ex sob story all day long, so what i asked "where you in a relationship before?...then what happened" i dont want to hear the book version about your ex, dont tell me how you love her and always will but you couldn't be together because of so and so reason and you still love her and i remind you of her..nobody wants to be the replacement file, if you are not over your Ex, take a break from dating and arrange yourself before coming in to the dating cycle.
fourthly nobody wants to see an ex with a friend, look i dont care that i refused to date you, or we dated and it didn't work out, if i have had feelings for you before well go far into the sea to cast your net, dont turn beside me and start dating a close friend..yes o i dont care how selfish you say i am spread your wings, look it doesn't make it any better cos the two of you told me before hand, forget all that "lets be civil crap" , you know i could almost burst out of my chair today when a similar incident like this happened, A likes B, B says she cannot date B because of so and so reason, A then decides to ask her to introduce him to her friend...lets just say i am so glad guns are not permitted in my current environment, B would have shot A.
look its the principle, it doesn't matter if we never eventually dated, if i have had feelings for you in the past i dont want to share our sob story with a friend who will go out with you the next day.
Finally nobody wants to hear about his/ her shortcomings in a relationship on the pages of a newspaper or on a blog or in a book, nobody cares that its part of your autobiography, nobody wants you to write how much of a bad kisser they were or how they had insecurity and commitment problems, nobody no matter how forgiving they are wants to read about how you were dating them out of pity or because you didn't have a choice. the point everybody loves their ego to be caressed, even if you are going to break that heart into a million pieces please respect my damn ego. Be honest without being wicked, move on without crushing your EX in the process and unless that EX looks like Usher sexy raymond or will treat you like some precious jewel that nobody can equal say no to temptation and move far away from your EX's territory. this is serious advise cos the price of acid has fallen to an all time low ,a scorned heart is very dangerous. #justsaying.
P.S i should take my own advise who knows who reads this blog of mine...hmnn
FYI all those rules just sell the author's books, human relationships are not a perfect science what will be will be.
gradually though as you get older you realize that there are rules in this dating business, and this rules differ between men and women,teens and adults, people with questionable characters to good responsible people you know the list goes on and on. Dont shake your head each group of friends has those rules, it might be we dont date each others sisters or brothers or we never take our girlfriends with us during the guys night out or vice versa but some rules have become quite intriguing to me.
A couple of years back, a bloke who i had been dating at some point told me how this liberian room mate of mine used to go behind my back to ask him out, i actually didn't care that was last year's news as far as i was concerned, i left his sorry ass cos he couldn't keep his hands off women, so if a chick who i did not consider close to me decided to pick up my left overs it was good riddance. well i dont think my reaction was quite what the dude was expecting so fast forward a couple of years later he meets me and my very close friend and decides to go behind my back to ask her out....now that i did not like.
I mean what was the problem, i probably would never date the pathetic womanizer again but i had a problem with my close friend picking up my left overs, that was like a massive No in my dictionary, i think that was when i understood that everybody had rules the problem was just defining them and knowing when not to cross them.
The first thing i noticed is that nobody likes to feel dumped and worse off nobody likes to feel dumped for someone else, so it will be a huge error to breakup with someone for their bestfriend, that is just so wrong in every sense of the word, people have killed each other for that act, no matter how tempting it is try to get out of that love triangle situation.
The second thing i have noticed, people dont like their dates side eyeing their siblings, look you should have made up your mind who you fancied in the family before making a move, dating someone and gushing over their elder or younger sister is not a good look.(thank goodness i dont have a sister) but that act can cause deep family rifts.
The third thing is people dont want to listen to your Ex sob story all day long, so what i asked "where you in a relationship before?...then what happened" i dont want to hear the book version about your ex, dont tell me how you love her and always will but you couldn't be together because of so and so reason and you still love her and i remind you of her..nobody wants to be the replacement file, if you are not over your Ex, take a break from dating and arrange yourself before coming in to the dating cycle.
fourthly nobody wants to see an ex with a friend, look i dont care that i refused to date you, or we dated and it didn't work out, if i have had feelings for you before well go far into the sea to cast your net, dont turn beside me and start dating a close friend..yes o i dont care how selfish you say i am spread your wings, look it doesn't make it any better cos the two of you told me before hand, forget all that "lets be civil crap" , you know i could almost burst out of my chair today when a similar incident like this happened, A likes B, B says she cannot date B because of so and so reason, A then decides to ask her to introduce him to her friend...lets just say i am so glad guns are not permitted in my current environment, B would have shot A.
look its the principle, it doesn't matter if we never eventually dated, if i have had feelings for you in the past i dont want to share our sob story with a friend who will go out with you the next day.
Finally nobody wants to hear about his/ her shortcomings in a relationship on the pages of a newspaper or on a blog or in a book, nobody cares that its part of your autobiography, nobody wants you to write how much of a bad kisser they were or how they had insecurity and commitment problems, nobody no matter how forgiving they are wants to read about how you were dating them out of pity or because you didn't have a choice. the point everybody loves their ego to be caressed, even if you are going to break that heart into a million pieces please respect my damn ego. Be honest without being wicked, move on without crushing your EX in the process and unless that EX looks like Usher sexy raymond or will treat you like some precious jewel that nobody can equal say no to temptation and move far away from your EX's territory. this is serious advise cos the price of acid has fallen to an all time low ,a scorned heart is very dangerous. #justsaying.
P.S i should take my own advise who knows who reads this blog of mine...hmnn
i might not take serious concern on your topic, but i found it rude refering to guys as 'left over'
ReplyDeleteSweetheart shoot me then, its an expression used to refer to a past situation and for the context in which it was used it was very appropriate. This blog is not some social conscious collumn on d pages of a newspaper its my damn blog. Lord knows I didn't mean it in a detrimental matter but things written here are supposed to pass on a message in a light hearted manner. Hey I made a mistake in my last paragraph who caught it??? I meant if your Ex's friend is Usher Sexy raymond and not your Ex oh well.
ReplyDeletehey girl,nice one.didn't know you write so well(ok,scratch that.bet there are a millin things i don't know)loved the way you handled the "critic".don't know why people find happiness such a hard thing.anyway,if you have more write-ups,would definitely love to read 'em.
ReplyDelete