THE "H" QUESTION

First off there is a reason why the topic is in parenthesis and abbreviated, we Africans don't like to talk about homosexuality, its like its a taboo or something.
we file topics like this under topics like bestiality and incest it's too disgusting and unthinkable to fathom. but the reality is that homosexuality is on the rise, from the Legal gay marriages in Europe and some parts of America to numerous homosexuals gaining positions of power all over the fashion and entertainment world this act seems to be picking up all over the world and Africa is not left out.
this days we hear about a lot of undercover gay hangouts and spots spanning from the north to the south of Nigeria, personally i have never been to any but as they say in my place there is no smoke without fire.

Personally i will be honest, i don't support gay marriages i think its unnatural and its not in the bible so there you have it, but that said i have met some few open homosexuals and they don't seem to be different from you and I, they are only attracted to the same sex and have no doubt that they are on the right path, i don't understand it i never might but i don't believe their fundamental human rights should be taken away because of their sexual preference either.



They are human beings after all, recently i was shocked and saddened at the 14 year jail sentence passed on the Malawian couple, 14 years in prison seemed too steep and i was glad when i learnt they were released. but that is not what i want to blog about today..i want to blog about the real criminals in this act,yep the closeted homosexuals who go in search of the opposite sex not for love but as a cover up in society ,yet behind closed doors they abandon their spouses and continue their liaisons with their "true love" leaving their ignorant spouse heartbroken, confused and in some cases wishing to take their lives out of misery.they have no idea why their love and care is not returned, most always blame this lack of compassion on themselves, thinking that there must be something they are not doing right.

I first came across this kind of lifestyle when i was in the university, i went to a very interesting university and consequently i interacted with all kinds of people, there are some i used to label as "undercover journalists|" this chicks knew all the personal data on all celebrities and powerful politicians.how they came about their information i had no idea (ok that is a lie i have a pretty good picture) but most times i believe our own city people would be envious of their knowledge base.Some fly chick we knew got married to this rich young socialite and as is typical with young air heads we were dying of envy, six months down the line the chick seemed to be miserable and tongues started wagging, i just thought it was early pregnancy symptoms but undercover journalists later spread the word that she was miserable because her husband hardly ever touched her at night, they claimed he was a popular guest at some undercover gay nightclub and he picked up guys at night almost on a daily basis, i didn't believe it and placed the gist as forged tales cooked up by jealous desperate..well you know the rest but i had my own personal encounter some years after.

flash forward to some years ago i meet this guy(name withheld) through a mutual friend, he seems a nice enough person, good looking and all so when my friend asks me if she can give him my number i give her my permission, he begins to call me frequently and we seem to have a common love for fashion, he happens to be interested in setting up a fashion label here in Nigeria and i am always interested in business opportunities, we go out for the first time and i notice something weird..there is no chemistry at all, i found him boring and discovered that apart from fashion we had no mutual interests so i was surprised when he kept on calling and asks me out on another date, i decide that i might have been mis reading the signs and agree to go out on another date.
This date is worse than the first, apart from the lack of one single topic to talk about i notice how feminine he appears to be, his driving is worse than that of a 16 year old, his mannerisms are feminine, even the way he looked at men to the way he chewed his chicken i know it seems far fetched but my antennae was up,the thought occurred to me that he might be gay but i did not want to believe it,that was until he began to spin some story about avoiding some guy in one of the popular shops in mall we passed by cos he thinks the guy is trying to make a move on him , i just knew then that he was gay.

After the date he keeps on calling and i tell him to stop asking me out cos it wouldn't work out and yes you guessed it..he reacted like a woman, swearing and cursing at me like i had just damaged his favorite toy, i just couldn't understand why he kept asking me out cos he obviously was not attracted to me. three weeks later my friend comes up and apologizes to me, she admitted that she just found out that the guy was actually gay and his Ex broke up with him because she found out. apparently when caught he confessed that he would give her anything she desired but he needed to marry her so that his relations would get off his back as people were already becoming suspicious, apparently she refused and he decided to try his luck on moi..idiot.

That is just beyond wicked, why would anybody want to keep someone in an unhappy marriage just for appearances,like i understand that if you came out with it here in nigeria you might get death threats and stones on your window every morning but come on, marry me and then do what? touch me only when you want to have kids or worse pay someone to copulate with me for kids sake God forbid.just so you know my case is not a peculiar one. a close friend of mine told me about her 4 year relationship which ended because her boyfriend was cheating on her ....yes with another man, and his lover was married with kids.
I have heard several stories that right now i don't file under forged ex files stories because weirder things have happened.

so is this becoming a trend? are people now just experimenting or do we have a large number of closeted homosexuals trapped in some cocoon of normalcy because of society, therefore caging another human being and sometimes kids in their prison.

maybe if we start talking about it, maybe if we stopped looking the other way when our kids begin to display abnormal traits like a girl preferring to play husband and wife with another girl frequently or boys playing with lipstick and heels at 12?? , maybe if we start encouraging our kids in their teens to speak openly with us on sexual related issues instead of preferring to believe our kids will always be the cute 4 year old from our loins, a lot of maybe's i guess, I am not a parent yet and i don't know how a parent is expected to handle a child who is beginning to have homosexual tendencies, i honestly do not see a foreseeable solution to this that is not spiritual but i will not begin to preach to you about all that, i will tell you this it is only an empty soul that will take advantage of the love and insecurities of another and drag another human being into his/her confused world.

whatever you feel you are..be open about it to the one you intend to spend the rest of your life with, that person has a right to know and a right to accept or reject it, lets try to stop making homosexuality a question mark and start making sexuality a topic. #justsaying.